In the Clap Shack by William Styron

Author:William Styron
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Open Road Media
Published: 2010-08-06T00:00:00+00:00

SCENE 2

It is eleven o’clock the same morning. The scene is DR. GLANZ’s office. MAGRUDER stands at stiff attention outside the office while DR. GLANZ explains the workings of a machine that sits on the desk to CAPTAIN BUDWINKLE.

GLANZ This is a remarkable new gadget for recording the human voice, sir. It has been distributed to a few select specialists. It’s called a wire recorder.

BUDWINKLE (With great interest) Oh, yes, I’ve heard about them.

GLANZ Warfare is an amazing human activity, sir. On the negative side, it does spawn social diseases such as the one that has afflicted our misguided young patient outside. (Nods toward MAGRUDER) But on the positive end of the scale, the technological end, the benefits must be incalculable. Think of the possibilities, in the postwar years, when a machine like this is simplified and refined, as it surely will be. Think of the ease with which we will be able imperishably to record the first cry of one’s little pink baby, or a presidential speech, or several hours of uninterrupted inspiration from Dr. Norman Vincent Peale.

BUDWINKLE Outstanding! Ace of an idea! Tell me though, Dr. Glanz, how is this machine applied in a practical sense to venereal patients?

GLANZ As you well know, sir, most venereal patients are inveterate liars, and the machine helps bend them in the direction of the truth. A patient will choose his words more carefully if he knows that his statements are subject to scrutiny ex post facto.

BUDWINKLE Fascinating. What is your technique of interrogation?

GLANZ You will begin to see in a moment, sir, with our young syphilitic, Magruder. Today we start in with the first of two phases. This phase we call the Overview.

BUDWINKLE The Overwhat?

GLANZ The Overview, sir. The Grand Design. The motivational, the behavioral, the biosociological aspects of a patient’s sexual profile. It is only after dealing in the more abstract that we can get to the more specific, the second phase. This we call the Blitz phase. In the Blitz phase—if you’ll permit us a small witticism, sir—we come to the real crotch of the matter. But first, today, the Overview. Magruder, come in and be seated! (MAGRUDER enters the office and takes a seat opposite GLANZ and BUDWINKLE) We assume that Lineweaver has told you the state of your Wassermann, boy.

MAGRUDER Yes, sir.

(GLANZ turns on the recorder)

GLANZ It means that you are extremely virulent. Therefore you must take the utmost pains to be truthful with us while we record your history on this machine. If you do so meticulously, we may be able to try to save your life. Do you understand?

MAGRUDER Yes, sir.

GLANZ (Consults some notes) First, it is our recollection that you told us that you have had sexual congress with only quote two women unquote in quote my entire life unquote, these females being quote an older woman unquote and quote my girl unquote. Is this correct?

MAGRUDER I think so, sir.

GLANZ What do you mean, “I think so”?

MAGRUDER I got lost in all those quotes. I mean—yes, sir, that’s all correct.

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